Hey Everyone!
Here’s the context to this blog, as always, you can skip straight to the main part of the post here!
I moved house recently. It was a move that carried a huge amount of emotion because it involved me leaving a house that had been in my family since 1979. It was the house my sister and I were bought back to after being born, it was the house that I bought Pete back to to meet my family, and it is the house I said goodbye to my mum and dad in. This house had huuuuuge sentimental value.
BUT
It was time to move. I’d taken over the house and lived in it for seven years. We’d had some great times in it but everything was tinged with memories. It was time for a fresh start. As someone with OCD, I am terrible with fresh starts (mainly because I’d never really given myself the chance to practice dealing with change because I liked keeping everything the same).
In mid-oct, we tearfully said goodbye to our family home in East London and moved to Bournemouth on the South Coast of the UK. OCD has had a few things to say about this. Let’s chat a bit about them and what I’ve done to try to keep it manageable.
Expect OCD to shape shift as a result of change
Moving broke my usual routines and changed the focusses of my obsessions. For example, in the stress of moving, the stairs had become an issue for me again just before we left our old house. Fourteen stairs in one continuous drop onto a hard wood floor. Our new staircase has more stairs but turns half way down so it's split in two. In spite of myself, I couldn’t help feeling some relief about this. Maybe the stairs would stop being an issue for me when I was having a symptom spike.
However...
We live in an area where everyone seems to have a dog or five. And because we’re outside of a main town the street lighting is darker than I am used to. Can you guess where this is going yet?
That’s right! I’ve developed some pretty awful obsessions around contamination and dog poo. It’s actually become quite intrusive. I’m struggling to wear boots with deep grips and I asked Pete to do up my shoelace yesterday when it had come undone. I hoped that anyone looking on would think I had back issues. We were on our way for his birthday lunch and I knew touching the laces would have triggered me to the point where I’d struggle to eat. This is quite an increase in symptoms for me.
Remember, it may not feel like it but OCD want to keep you safe. It makes sense that it’s going to focus on the things it feels are more risky and are more relevant to day to day life.
Expect the intensity of your symptoms to change
Change often causes stress and stress can give OCD a huge shake up. You can give yourself a big head start by half-expecting your OCD symptoms to become more intense and impactful if you go through some sort of change.
Strangely, sometimes the opposite happens too. We can become so hyper-focused and consumed by something new, OCD can’t get a look in. I’ve experienced this and so have others I know. Be mindful though and be prepared for OCD to surface as things start to settle back into routine again.
It's important to remember as well that even long anticipated and looked forward to change, can can bring about feelings of loss and loss can also cause a sudden increase in OCD symptoms, especially that faithful old compulsion, rumination.
What can you do?
There are loads of little things you can do.
Keep as much of your routine in place as possible
Routine can help us feel settled and grounded, and for those of us with OCD, routine often helps us keep on top of our self-care and recovery practice. Big change often leads to a disruption in routine so try to prioritise this. Put systems in place to help you remember to take medication. Try to do some exercise, get outside, make yourself a nutritious meal or try to prioritise your sleep schedule. Your schedule does not need to be jam-packed with well-being activities to be impactful.
Think about support
What does that look like for you? Is it speaking to family and friends? Is it having a chat with your Dr or a medical professional.? Is there a support group that might help you while you settle? Is this something you feel upping the self-care activities might sort? And remember the best thing is, these strategies don't need to be used exclusively, you can mix and match different things!
Repeat what worked for you before
What helped you to feel well before? Was it a certain activity? Was it reading a certain book or blog? Do you have therapy notes from before that you can go over again? Would a few exposures work? Did you previously find any specific self-help activities particularly helpful?
Please keep in mind that at times of change, what worked for us before might not work as well now. If this happens, that's okay! Change it up a bit, try to see this as an opportunity to try new things if you can. Recovery often needs us to be flexible and adaptable. It'll be a good chance to practice exposing ourselves to change.
Practice your self-compassion activities
It’s usually small, gentle baby steps that work best for turning around a bit of a symptom set back. Practice showing yourself self-compassion and remember self-compassion is a skill that can be developed. The more you practice it, the more natural it becomes as a response. Please see the further reading section for some ideas on self-compassion activities.
Practice using acceptance
Acceptance doesn't mean you like the changes that are taking place or the feelings you are having, but recognising and accepting that you are going through a change, and that change can impact our mental health sometimes, can help. It can be helpful to try to accept what is happening so we can put our energies towards working out our next steps. Just as a personal note here, it took me a long time to get the hang of using acceptance and even now I don't use it perfectly 100% of the time. SO please don't judge yourself too harshly if you struggle here.
So just to sum up...
... it is almost impossible to predict how change will affect OCD. It pays for us to be ready for a change in symptoms. Knowing our trigger points and what works for us can really help but its also so important we’re prepared to try new things if our usual strategies don’t work.
Remember, every single moment you spend working on your recovery, the more resilient you become and the easier it will be to know what to do next time. You will be able to face more and more change and apply more and more flexibility to your strategies. It’s never wasted time!
I hope this has been helpful!
Sending you loads of love
Cat xx
Further Reading
Judging yourself for experiences challenging emotions around change? Take a look at this post here.
Change can bring about a lot of uncertainty. Learn how to deal with uncertainty here.
Not sure if what you're dealing with is OCD? Have a read about sneaky compulsions.
The Taming Olivia Newsletter!
We bring out a monthly newsletter that contains a whole world of information about OCD, Taming Olivia, the OCD community, helpful freebie play sheets to help you practice new skills, and updates about our multi-award-winning film about OCD and intrusive thoughts, Waving. If you fancy joining our wonderful Taming Olivia Community please sign up on the home page.